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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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My mother's POA (the oldest child) wants our mother to go into assisted living. My mother has stated she is not ready for assisted living and wants to stay in her home. What can I do to help honor my mother's wishes?
Do what your mom needs to stay in her home. Probably help to get her dressed, buying her food, fixing her meals, getting her to the bathroom, doing her laundry, fixing her meds, paying her bills, taking her to the doctor, taking her garbage out, changing her lightbulbs, changing her sheets, and on and on and on. If you're not willing or able to do those things, then your oldest sibling probably has the right idea about mom going into assisted living.
It's a rare parent who realizes the amount of help they need and willingly agree to that level of care. They want to keep things as they are. It's us caregivers who jump through hoops making ourselves nuts trying to honor their wishes. Maybe your mom is different, but you have to tell us more about her situation to get more specific answers.
Good answer Blannie, because Snowball can see a lot of what is involved to keep her Mom at home. What does the eldest use as rationale for moving Mom to AL? (against her will). Does Mom have finances to pay for at home care, or does she have a caseworker and Medicaid (IHSP) who can send out home care workers? Maybe Mom may want to move to AL in the future. If she wants, you can explore good options at anytime, then move her in the future. Is Mom in danger living alone at home? The other side of the situation is, does POA have any interest in Mom's home, or selling it?
You can have her doctor evaluate her for staying in her own home. The doctor can recommend, and write his recommendations in a letter for POA to read. You can keep the lines of communication open between you and the eldest. Work with POA. You can advocate for Mom, look at what is best for her, be on her side, make recommendations, visit her, and as Blannie said, do things that she needs to remain home safely (or hire to have those things done)
Starting with a housekeeper, even a live-in housekeeper can delay a move to AL.
Thank you for you replies. My mother is active with the senior group in her community, does her own cooking, cleaning(with a lady who comes in monthly to do chores she can not do) everything is on one floor:bedroom, bath, laundry, ect. Two of us siblings are there to visit almost daily and do chores like garbage, light bulb changing ect. The POA does not include other siblings on her decion makings. POA has made it clear it is a job not wanted. My mother does have MD appointment to discuss with him this decion POA made. POA told mom she will get a lawyer if she refuses to go into assisted living.
If she is mentally capable of making her own decisions, your sibling cannot force her into assisted living, lawyer or no lawyer. BTW, Mom can revoke the POA at any time if she's of sound mind.
Job not wanted....hostile take over... Mom can and should get new POA before it is too late. That time is before she cannot make wise decisions on her own behalf. Before the doctor or POA has her declared incompetent to handle her own affairs.
There are huge differences between needing help and being incompetent.
Your Mom has the help to be active, does not sound incompetent.
Thank you again for your responses. My mother saw her MD today and after talking to her I was invited in for a summery of her consult. The MD did write her a letter saying she is able to make all decisions for herself related to her health and well being. He did suggest we do a home safety evaluation with an occupational therapy and a life alert button and i will follow up with that. One thing I know for sure my mother has gained her confidence back. Thank you again for your support.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
It's a rare parent who realizes the amount of help they need and willingly agree to that level of care. They want to keep things as they are. It's us caregivers who jump through hoops making ourselves nuts trying to honor their wishes. Maybe your mom is different, but you have to tell us more about her situation to get more specific answers.
What does the eldest use as rationale for moving Mom to AL? (against her will).
Does Mom have finances to pay for at home care, or does she have a caseworker and Medicaid (IHSP) who can send out home care workers?
Maybe Mom may want to move to AL in the future. If she wants, you can explore good options at anytime, then move her in the future.
Is Mom in danger living alone at home?
The other side of the situation is, does POA have any interest in Mom's home, or selling it?
The doctor can recommend, and write his recommendations in a letter for POA to read.
You can keep the lines of communication open between you and the eldest. Work with POA.
You can advocate for Mom, look at what is best for her, be on her side, make recommendations, visit her, and as Blannie said, do things that she needs to remain home safely (or hire to have those things done)
Starting with a housekeeper, even a live-in housekeeper can delay a move to AL.
Mom can and should get new POA before it is too late.
That time is before she cannot make wise decisions on her own behalf.
Before the doctor or POA has her declared incompetent to handle her own affairs.
There are huge differences between needing help and being incompetent.
Your Mom has the help to be active, does not sound incompetent.
What is with the POA, in your opinion?