My mom and step dad married in 1987 with him having huge debt and my mom having a substantial amount from stocks, bonds, farmland, as well as many CD's and R,A's, mutual funds, and a work related cash settlement. All of which she kept private and seperate. She also had received a $200,000,00 inheritance after her mother's passing. He had no savings of any sort and at the time he retired was making $12.43 an hour. Now for 30 years plus his two sons were not in the picture and didn't like my Mom at all. He had no idea my mom's worth until she suffered strokes in 1997 at which time I had to fill him in on everything, not my surprise when his reaction was shock and excitement he then became angry she never shared this with him. Many things happened as years went by and he began pestering her endlessly about him wanting to make large very large purchases like a truck for $23,000.00 and campers a boat, guns, just to name a few me being present for most all the discussions and decisions many times having to take him outside to tell him she said NO it's her money she said no so it's no, well so I thought little did I know a couple years before her death she shared with me he had wanted POA at that time she said the only way she'd sign or agree is if he and I had equal POA and at that point he had the papers drawn up by his nephew who's an attorney in another town she signed what she believed to be papers given him and POA once the time came she couldn't do these things for herself, me being completely unaware of this I never signed anything or had knowledge of him having control, it wasn't until I kept asking my Mom what happened to her will it was no longer in the office, she just kept telling me she didn't know what was going on and that she needed to go get a knew one and whispering to me to take her over to her bank. So at that time I began telling him my step dad they needed to go and have wills drawn up this went on for at least two years me mentioning it every week at least at my mom's request, him brushing me off never answering me it never getting done. Looking back I should've known he was stealing her money and cashing in her bonds, RA's , mutual funds, he had added his name to accounts while with others changing her previously married name on accounts to her then married name and adding himself as person receiving transfer upon death rights not stopping there he added himself as co owner on some accounts. Slowly he emptied most all her accounts then placing them in the names of his two sons. Her personal property gone as well her mother's wedding rings and all her valuables, Never would I have thought he could and would do this and get away with it. I now think back to all the things my Mom would say to me in private then most never made much sense to me because as soon as he'd come in range of us she'd stop talking when I would ask him about things she remained quite not speaking up, I now am haunted with the thought of was she a victim of mental, emotional abuse it seems now to me he easily may have been using intimidation or being made to feel guilt for having the strokes and being a burden to him preventing him from his dream of life after retirement, I will always have to live with myself for not being more insistent and demanding and for not taking more time to understand what she had been trying to tell me and confide in me, now it all makes sense had I only known. Was she more than a prisoner in her own body since her strokes ? Was she yet again being abused by her spouse not physically but I believe without a doubt and to the depths of my soul that ( YES ) she absolutely had been. She was and will always be my best friend the person in my life that I'd do anything for buy her anything and I did cook her anything, always she came first. I love that woman my MOTHER -MY HERO !!! I'm sorry I failed her. Learning how to forgive myself will take the rest of my life with that being said if my brothers and I never see a dime of her money I be fine with its never been about that as long as my step dad and his sons that hated my Mom don't have what was never theirs to take from her. Pathetic what others do when a loved one dies. I now only wish there maybe away to right a very big wrong they need to know what they did was wrong very wrong and they should pay for what was done. Does anyone know what if anything I can do at this point . I'm forever grateful to those reading this and those that learn from my mistake. I want him and his sons to be accountable and quit treating us so badly by spreading rumors, making my children feel unloved & unwelcome by the person they've known their entire life as grandpa the only one they've had now won't even hardly speak to them.
This would probably be one of the questions asked by any good attorney you would see.
You would have to establish elements of fraud for a criminal action, and I'm not sure the police would be able to get enough evidence to bring charges. You would need similar evidence for a civil suit.
As to berating yourself with recriminations, you had no idea at the time that this man was acting in his own self interest and siphoning off funds.
Incidentally, how and when did you find out about the asset transfers? What documentation have you found? These are and would be critical issues for any action to be taken.
I'm puzzled, though, by this sentence:
"I want him and his sons to be accountable and quit treating us so badly by spreading rumors, making my children feel unloved & unwelcome by the person they've known their entire life as grandpa the only one they've had now won't even hardly speak to them."
So in addition to wanting to take action on the fraud issue, you also want your children to be treated better by the person who perpetrated the fraud?
I'm thinking that might be a large chasm to bridge. When did this "hostility" (for lack of a better word) against your children begin to occur? How? Did your stepfather's attitude change immediately after your mother's death?