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We are in need a home caregiver so my husband & I can go out once in a while, but we don’t want to leave him by himself!


We are in our mid 80’s and it’s getting tougher!


Thank you.

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If ur son is living with you, its time to place him. You are in your mid 80s. What is going to happen to him when u pass? Dementia could cause him to be aggressive even violent. Call your County Disabilities Dept and see what options you have. What resourses are available to him. Would it not be better to place him now and see that he is safe and cared for instead of the State stepping in when you've passed. And please, if you have other children, do not expect them to care for him.

I have a nephew who can live on his own with some overseeing. Because of a neurological problem, he will probably have Dementia sooner than later. I am his POA. He is 34 to my 74. I have done a lot for him. The best thing, getting him people. He has a State Coordinator and a CBS worker once a week who takes him shopping, to the bank, cleans up his apt., etc. I am able to back away. Its nice. I remain his POA to handle his finances. I drive him when an appt cannot be made on Fridays. I can just be his Aunt. When he enters a home, I will let the State take over his care. My girls have been told in no way are they to feel responsible for him.
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JoAnn is absolutely correct and speak from some experience.
You yourselves know what marvelous care you have rendered and what good luck you've had in that many with downs do not make it to requiring aging care.

It is now time to look into options for the future.
If your son will inherit any fund, then it's time to be certain a special needs trust and a fiduciary is in place. If he will not inherit much he still requires protection that will allow him to access care whether in AL or group home and have what funds he has managed and protected for him by a State Appointed Fiduciary.
You do not mention other family and I am assuming that in your absence he will not have any to rely upon.

You've done well, but I as an 81 year old and you yourselves know that the writing is on the wall and something could happen at any moment. It is important to now get things into place. I surely do wish you well. I know you will have in place some contacts given this long history to help guide you. It's hard to be realistic, but reality is something you MUST recognize and accept in these tough circumstances.
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If you need once in a while care, look on Care.com.

If you'd like a caregiver more regularly, go to the Find Care tab on top of this page and click. Then fill out the form to be contacted by someone from A Place For Mom for in home care options.

Good luck.
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Care.com has people available , Next Door .com you can Place a ad . Nursing schools May have Nurses in training available .
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Find a group home where he can find friends.
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