We were manipulated into having my aunt go into a state run mental health facility. My other aunt also now has POA over her sister which is about time instead of me, the niece, who was managing my parents and my aunt all these years. How do I ask the facility to see if my aunt is being taken out by other family and not forgotten? If she is forgotten I would like to begin to take her out regularly again because she was part of our family. Will I have any weight if my aunt blocked me? I can prove my care is sincere and produce evidence and videos of my aunt being in excellent health and spirits in my care and get many people to vouch for me as they have witnessed us for many years. When my aunt and her friend took over my other aunt's care, she spiraled down. I can reverse the health conditions she has gotten since being in the care of my aunt's friend. I have done it before. How can I get some authority to respect my direction if I am meek and have a personality that is not authoritative while my aunt with the POA and her friend are loud, chatty, judgmental and opinionated and look good so people tend to believe them, yet they do nothing to get my aunt healthy and she only declines.
People do age and get worse, you know. Even with the best of care. When was the 'before' when you enjoyed some success in improving her condition?
You certainly can ask if your aunt is being taken out. There may be very good reasons why this is not happening. You may not be loud and chatty but you certainly can aski questions especially of your aunt in a non threatening way.
As POA i am afraid your Aunt does control who visits or takes you Aunt out especially for overnight visits.
Do you feel you can do 3 shifts of caregiving that your Aunt now receives being in a nursing home? You would need to set up your home as a mini nursing home, unless you already have the equipment from previous caregiving.
Then you indicate that you want to be significantly involved in your aunt's care and welfare. Is it that you want to be involved but want someone else to have the legal authority?
If your aunt is in a "state run mental health facility" as you indicate, the rules for leaving and visiting are quite different from those of a skilled nursing, nursing or AL facility which are more open.
What actually is the type of facility in which your aunt now lives? If it's a mental health facility, you need to contact them to find out about visitation rules first, let alone removing your aunt from their care for whatever reason, even just for a short trip.
In addition, you state that "We were manipulated into having my aunt go into a state run mental health facility." What was the basis for this? How were you "manipulated"? Is there a temporary order for mental health examination, pending subsequent court review? And in fact was a court involved in making this placement?
These are issues that have to be addressed before anyone becomes involved in Aunt's care or takes her out of a building.
And there may be diagnoses that prevent her from being removed from the facility. She's there for a reason.
It is wonderful that she responded so well to your care two years ago. But the improvements you mention did not involve her mental health. What is the reason she is now in a mental health facility? Even if she were back under your excellent care, you might not be able to improve that aspect of her health.
We are all candidates for dying. In fact, every single one of us will get elected to that role at some point. I assume you mean that she is not ready for hospice or that she should have significant time left to her. How old is she? What are her impairments? Why is she where she is? Is someone expecting/encouraging/neglecting her to die? Why do you bring that up?
Have you tried visiting and been turned away?
What do you want to have happen at this point?
So. She is 60 years old. She is currently housed in a SNF and should be taking part in a day program. You hope that she is, or at least that there are plans for this, being visited and taken out by family members so that she can benefit from inclusion in family life.
Is there any particular reason why you can't just ask other family members if this is happening?
I agree with your aim of describing and treating your aunt in the same way that you would any other vulnerable person, rather than presenting her as a "case" with a label. But please do give us some credit for understanding that people with physical and mental illness and/or disabilities have the same rights as any other individual.
The reason I say this is that when we get down to it, what you would actually like is a more appropriate residential setting to be found for your aunt; and I agree: if in fact she has always needed support because she has a chronic or lifelong condition then just shoving her in the nearest facility with very much older people is far from ideal.
But there is a lot more going on than constipation, is there not. Are we talking learning difficulties? Chronic mental ill health?
There will be organisations that can offer you support with advocacy and information - I have yet to come across any condition that does not have its own network of groups and lobbyists. Write down a summary account of what's gone on with your aunt, like a CV - dates, location, main care givers, key events - so that anyone you speak to can easily get a picture of her life.
Another important question: does your aunt with disabilities have capacity? The thing about POA specifically is that it can only be created with the informed consent of the person for whom it is being created. If your aunt when to court and applied to become your disabled aunt's primary decision-maker, then she's your disabled aunt's guardian, not her POA. The (not bad, as such, but) difficult news there is that guardianship has a much broader decision-making remit; but the good news is that it is also subject to routine scrutiny and reporting, so that yours will not be the only eyes being kept on your disabled aunt.
Anyway. Bottom line: you are not satisfied that your aunt is being adequately supported, and you have every right to make enquiries and to speak up. I do urge you to look for a network of people with similar family members and loved ones so that you can benefit from their resources and experience.
And there is nothing wrong with using somebody's social security money to pay for their care and their living costs. Where you might run into difficulties is if good records weren't being kept and it looked as if the disabled person's money was being misused.
So what's the status of your former-caregiver sister-in-law in relation to your aunt? Is she playing an active role still?