She says it's just more pills she has to take. She was diagnosed about 2 years ago and since then her memory has gotten worse. She misplaces things and quickly blames others for taking it. My sibling and nieces and nephews no longer come around because of this reason. I am the youngest of four and have no help in caring for her. Mom is 65 and is still capable of doing for herself somewhat. Still drives (which I’m scared as hell). When I try to help her do stuff, she says I’m treating her like a child. I’ve had to start therapy sessions recently because I am stressed out. Any advice on how to cope? I am 36 years old and I feel like my life is over.
You can not put your life on hold for that long. You need to work in order to save to take care of yourself when you get old.
You need to have a life outside of caregiving or else your life is really over. You should not be the sole caregiver. Enlist the other siblings to help your mother. As her disease progresses, she will need even more help. I think now might be a really good time for her to move into an Assisted Living facility.
Does she know she has Alzheimer's? Or she has forgotten that? If she knows, then get her to educate herself on what to expect, that way she will be more cooperative in making plans to help you to help her. You can find info about Alzheimer's on this website or others.
Again, I'm so sorry for your situation. Other posters will have more advice for you. Check out the thousand of threads on this forum. There are many of us here in the same situation.
Often this behavior ends (but not always). It is cruel to reject Mother/Aunt just because she has a broken brain. It is much better to gain some understanding of the disease.
This particular behavior may fade away, but overall mother is going to continue to get worse and worse. That is how dementia works. This could go on for 20 years (or might end much sooner), and the sooner you can start planning for that future, the better. Does Mother need 24 hour supervision now? What does her doctor say? Do you work away from the house? Is Mother in denial or does she accept that she has dementia?
Whatever plans you and Mother come up with for the future, they should NOT include you being her sole caregiver! You deserve a life. One possible source of information on options is the Area Agency on Aging.
I know there is a lot on your shoulders. I'm not a doctor but maybe let your mom's doctor know she is not taking her meds. I'm not sure if she would accept counselling or some home care to help with the meds. I know taking meds can be a struggle. And some have side effects so its hard to know if its the meds causing more memory loss or the failure to take them properly.
Maybe consider talking to a social worker and see what options are available in the community to support your mom.
I know its hard. I too was the one that had to take care of my mom and dad. Recognizing you are stressed is a good first step. I hope the counselling will offer some additional supports. Remember you are human and doing the best you can.
Thinking of you.
Are you able to get into the house and see first hand how she's really managing her affairs, household, health, etc. Do you have contact with her doctor? Does she have a Durable POA or Healthcare POA?
It's such a stressful, thing, but, getting therapy for yourself is an excellent idea. I might also try to find a support group for family members of those who have early onset Alz. My LO got Vascular Dementia at age 62 and it has been quite an ordeal. But, this site has given me much hope and support. Let us know how you are doing and what you find out.
Medication for Alzheimer's doesn't stop or cure the disease, it only gives more time before the person looses their abilities. (It did nothing for my mother who progressed 2 stages in a year and a half while taking Aricept.)
I'm with JoAnn, if she doesn't want to take it, I don't think she'll be loosing much.