My mother is 61. Six months ago she started to have problems with hypertension. Her blood tension skyrockets everytime she gets angry. The problem is that she doesn't control that. Most outbursts are unreasonable, way out of proportion and completely unstoppable once they start. If she hears something she didn't want to or interprets the situation her way, the yelling and cursing starts, followed up by the surge in blood pressure. Each outburst leave her in worse health as she doesn't tolerate well the prescribed medication, plus she thinks it's unreasonable that she even has to take them. Most of those tantrums are aimed at me as I'm spending most of time with her. Moreover, I'm constantly hearing that I'm solely the reason of hypertension and elevated blood pressure and what an awful, unrespectful etc. person I am. However, when I say I'll distance myself so my mother wouldn't have to deal with me, I'm even worse person because she gave me everything and I just want to disappear and karma will get me. I don't know how to react to that behaviour. I try to stay speachless each time because saying anything seems to worsen it but toxic words I hear everytime are really hurting me and the blame that is put on me is unbearable.
Then the next time and every time she bursts out, leave the room and if that doesnt work, tell your mom you see that you are upsetting her and it's time for you to go, kiss her goodbye and leave and do this every time. Don't acuse your mom or have long talks about her bursting out, ect she'll know.
if she really wants you around, she'll stop bursting out.
I agree, Mom needs to be evaluated further.
A mild diuretic, drinking more water, reducing sodium, and increasing activity with a daily walk or two often has an immediate impact on blood pressure. Losing weight helps about half of people and salt intake impacts some people a lot more than others.
Irritability is also often a symptom of changing blood sugar levels too but I would assume her PCP has at least performed basic blood testing including an A1C level.
Has your mother been evaluated for mental illness or dementia? Is she on medications other than for bp?
Have you spoken to her doctor about the connection between her anger outbursts and her bp surges?
Do you live with her? Can you see her less, since interactions with you seem to be a trigger?
My mom, at 88, started having sudden spikes of blood pressure. No physical reason was ever found, but she did have a problem with anxiety.
Her bp problem was made much better by getting on antianxiety and antidepressant meds, prescribed by a geriatric psychiatrist.
And Joann is correct, this is not medication that should be taken irregularly. Is that how the doctor prescribed it? (Is it possible mom misunderstood the doctor's instructions?)
How does your mother know her bp is elevated? Is she measuring it several times a day?
Aside from her bp, does she have health issues that require you to be there?
Can you simply move out?