My Mom is in an assisted living currently, and has middle stages of Alzheimer’s. I put her in a safe AL, as I work a lot and am frequently out of town. No siblings or relatives to help.
Mom’s money is running out (she has no idea how much the assisted living is costing her). She still thinks she can live on her own, which she cannot. (Fell a few times, refuses to bathe, etc).
So within the next 6 months I will have to put her on Medicaid, which will completely change her world and way of life and will be very difficult for her, especially with her Alzheimer’s. She is not at all a social person so she only talks and vents to me.
She currently has her own room w microwave and small fridge. I’ve tried to keep her life stable and unchanging up to this point.
Medicaid will mean sharing a room with other women in a nursing home.
How do I best prepare her for what will be a most difficult transition?
I have racked myself with guilt over the money, praying I’m doing the right thing and being a good steward with her money and making good decisions as her POA.
She doesn’t at all understand that she has Alzheimer’s, even though it’s been proven thru all the tests and MRIs.
I feel so alone in this, has anyone else had to deal with this same situation of switching to Medicaid and moving a parent to a Medicaid facility?
Since she has been self pay for a while they may well let her stay.
Talk to the Social Worker and find out.
If she can stay start "visits" to the Memory Care portion of the facility. She can get to know the staff and get to know her way around.
Then tell her that her apartment needs to be cleaned and painted and that she will have to move to another room. At that point you can transfer her to the Memory Care.
When she asks when she can go back to her "home" tell her that she will when the work is done.
Regardless of where she relocates, I wouldn't be too worried about her sharing a room. Over the years, I discovered that with people dementia, including my LO, don't seem to view personal space or privacy, the same way that we might. In fact, my LO LOVED having a roommate. It brought her comfort and company. But, most of the time, the residents are not even in their room. They are in the activity room, dining room, secure patio, tv room, etc. Not to be negative, but, she may not even realize that she has a roommate. I also wouldn't worry over her being social. In MC, many people are not able to speak. The staff are trained to work with them and make them feel comfortable. It's an accepting environment, based on what I have seen.
I hope things work out well for you. It sounds like you are giving lots of thought.
Her current AL does have a MC, but does not take Medicaid.
And In my state, I have to find what’s called an ICP Medicaid facility for her to qualify.
being that she’s so antisocial, I worry about her happiness and keeping her world status quo, even though it makes my life tougher sometimes.
i like the part about telling her the place is being renovated. Maybe that will be the way to go with her when the time comes.