My neighbor and friend, an 83 year old widow, compassionately opened her small two bedroom condo to her son, his drug addicted wife, two year old, four year old, 7 and ten year old. The son gets a disability check, the wife is unemployed and my friend has only social security to live on. She managed just fine on her own but now that there are kids crying all night, and the adults contributing nothing to their upkeep or even attempting to find low rent housing or jobs and using my friend as a maid. She has become ill, lost weight and is emotionally overwhelmed. She has begged them to leave with no results. Other family members will not get involved. What recourse does she have? She has a reverse mortgage which has rules and regulations about her leaving the home. Can she have them evicted through some free legal agency? All the neighbors who have known her for over years are concerned. Should this be reported to elder abuse? Thanks for any suggestions. Judy
If they can't put her in touch with an attorney who'll institute the eviction process, call the local county or state Bar Association and search for "pro bono" attorneys.
Sometimes local law schools offer this kind of assistance as well.
You might also contact the condo association and ask about limitations on the number of people living in a small condo. The By-Laws and/or condo standards (usually recorded with the local register of deeds or similar county department) may prevent so many people living in a small area.
With that many people, I'm wondering about the cleanliness and health standards in the condo. That might be an issue that not only affects your friend but violates condo association standards as well.
And it may be that the neighbors need to file complaints against the family, not only for abusing your friend, but for the negative effect on the condo b/c of too many people in one living space.
Good luck. It's so sad that your friend was generous but that the sponging family is abusing and exploiting that generosity.
One positive note, the Grandmother is bringing a more stable environment to her grandchildren, but at 83 she shouldn't be doing all the work, and using up her funds to feed her adult son and his family.
She needs to stop enabling them. She needs to put her foot down and say she can no longer financially carry them, her money is running out.
Oh my gosh, Grandmother is sharing a bed with 3 children? And kids are germ magnets coming home from school with colds, etc. She better get her flu shot soon.
Who buys the groceries? If she does, and the family doesn't pitch in to pay, then she should only get limited things for them. Just salads for dinners and yogurt for lunch will make some families pack up and leave :) No chips, no ice cream, basic cereal [Puff Wheat or Puff Rice] for the kids. No sodas. If the family wants something else, they need to go out and buy it !!
Some times tough love is the only way to make a family wake up and learn to be on their own.
But the grandmother is also at risk. I think someone needs to make some calls, tomorrow. If your friend is uncomfortable reporting her family, you or one of the other neighbors can make the calls, anonymously.
See All Answers