This is all very new to me, my grandmother had some short memory issues for the past 3 years, earlier in 2017, I noticed she was starting to become more irrational and do random things. However she was still very independent, she could be left alone and if a person didn't know her they wouldn't notice anything off about her. In November she missed a step, fell and we rushed her to the hospital. Everything went down hill from there, she now hollers all day and night. We checked for uti's and other things just to make sure she isn't in pain. She doesn't eat much and lost a ton of weight. She refused to walk I'm assuming because of the fall, however she can. I think she suffered from delirium but the thing is she never bounced back from it. In October she was complaining saying she wants to get out the house and singing on the choir stand, now she refuses to leave the bed. I'm her primary caregiver and it's ruff. I feel guilty to complain but it's really hard (I'm her grandchild) I have 4 kids and my youngest is 15months, I'm also going through a divorce so it's very hard. My mom comes over everyday and often misses work because I'm so tired from the night before. My grandmother calls out for me every second of the day but she sundowns and night and I don't know what to do. She takes Paxil. They had her on Xanax as needed but those didn't even make her sleepy. She's up all day and all night everyday maybe napping 30 mins. My main concern is the calling out and screaming every night. Help me! Help me come quick is what I hear all night. I'm falling on the ground. Now she calls out for random people who she hasn't seen or heard from in years. She now has a twitching in her hand which concerns me. She was rushed to the hospital in January, her sugar was very low. So now we know she's diabetic. She has become someone I don't know. If anyone has any advice it would be greatly appreciated, as I stated earlier this is all very new to my family and I've done all the researching I could but sometimes the best advice comes from those who have lived it. I fear that this is becoming to much for me to handle and I don't ever want to put her in a home. I just wish she would calm down and stop hollering. Thanks for listening!
Time to find a good quality facility where you can visit often and continue to be a very loving granddaughter.
Start by getting her to the doctor and get her on meds to help her sleep.
How do you, and not your mom or aunt, come to be caring for grandma?
It sounds like grandma might be in pain. Dementia patients are not good and telling they are in pain.
You need to talk to her doctor today about how things are going.
This is a fragmenting brain trying to make sense of what it can still perceive. If it's worrying for us, it hollows me out to imagine what it's like to be in that person's head.
You can't do this on your own at home, you know. What support do you currently have with taking care of your lovely grandmother, apart from your mother?
Has a geriatric specialist, a good GP who knows her extremely well, or somebody like that sat down with her px and her latest results and done a really thorough review of her care management?
Did the CAT scan include her head?
Any other health conditions, remind me?
One thing you mentioned was your grandma takes Paxil and Xanax. Paxil is a terrible drug, it doesn’t help mood and is ADDICTIVE. Many people get on it and then, because of bad side effects, try to discontinue taking Paxil and feel as though they are losing their mind! Xanax has the opposite effect on some people and they get riled up instead of relaxing them.
But if you haven’t had your grandma assessed for mental status and cognitive abilities then by all means do so. Or get your mom to schedule this at a Geri Psych Unit in a psychiatric hospital. The patient usually stays about a week and a psychiatrist assesses her thoroughly.
I have had patients like your grandma when I worked as an RN about an eon ago. It was hospital setting but one lady hollered ALL NIGHT! “Honey?! Honey come here! Honey I need you!” I was Honey. She was fine, just confused. I checked her hourly all night. She finally went to sleep a couple hours. BUT, my point is, I had the lady as my responsibility for 12 hours and I went home and slept. My daughter slept without hearing that lady.
Your grandma needs the assessment and then you and your mom need to decide what would be best. After assessment would be a good time to place her in assisted living if you find a good one and can afford the rent.
Things will work out. Have Faith!!!
This punishing routine with your grandmother would be bad enough for a single person without a family, but for a now single mother with a working mother, it is impossible for both of you. The trouble is that the person you are now caring for is no longer the grandmother you used to know. Her old personality is overlaid by the frantic activity of an injured brain which effectively gives her a new persona, one that is too hard to live with.
It really is time to find a 24/7 alternative in residential care that specialises in dementia. It is not easy to organise this.
One way to do it is to arrange for your grandmother to have a full combined mental and physical check up while staying in a hospital ward for several days in a geriatric unit. Then the hospital specialists will be able to meet and discuss her case before you (and your mother) are called in to discuss the current situation and all the options.These should be discussed with a social assistant before you even contemplate taking the patient home. Make sure you have several days to do this, don't be pushed into taking her home earlier than you really want to.
Depending on where you live, there could be a whole array of options, from home help up to full residential care, but use this period to catch up on your sleep, your work and home life, your children, and having evening heart-to-heart chats with your mother.
Good luck with what happens next, but do not be afraid to ask for help and also for time out.
Please also don't fool around with or downplay your sleep deprivation as you start addressing grandma's long term needs. (Could your mom or another family member start spending the night so you can sleep uninterrupted, while other care is being found for grandma?) Apparently, driving while sleep-deprived can be the equivalent to driving drunk. Not that you're getting out much right now, but this entire situation is unsafe for you in many different ways.