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My brother took my parents Will and Power of Attorney!! He gave me a copy of one...that had no signatures on it?? The attorney that prepared the will is a friend of his, and I don't know his name either. What should I do???
I just reviewed the Medical POA and it seems that this is a standard form and was witnessed and signed by neighbors...nothing about an attorney.
I'll check with Register of Deeds as you suggested. What about Will? Is that filed anywhere? An attorney told me that I needed to hire an attorney and take my brother to court. Is that right? Thanks!! Irene
Sometimes wills are filled and sometimes they are not. I think the only person who can get a will that is on file is the person who made the file or the executor of the estate upon the person's death.
Why do you want these documents? Why do you want to take your brother to court just because he has these documents and you don't? What else is going on here?
Lol, some funny questions here? Babalou...if my parents had the originals, why would I need a copy? cmagnum...I would like to see the copy of the will because I am 1/3 inheritor of the house, and the executor of the will. What is going on??? I would like to know that question also??? Why would my bother take the Will? What are his motives?? That will was made years ago...and not really sure what my future is? Also, I have cared for my parents for the last 7 years and had to retire to do so. I have to take care of the house, inside and out, keep the property when it needs repairs, take care of my parents, my father cannot see or hear well, my mother has dementia and cannot do ONE thing for herself...not even stand up without me having to hold her up!!! Why would I want a copy of the WILL...because I want to know what my future is after my parents die and have a life again???? WHY?????
Your parents should be paying you for their care now, out of their funds. What if they need to apply for Medicaid?
I don't think that anyone has a legal right to see anyone else's will until the testator is dead. That includes the executors. I asked if your parents had a copy because I had no way of knowing if you were on speaking terms with your parents. Many folks on this board are not. I try hard not to make assumptions.
In my experience, the executor of the will is sent a sealed copy at the time the will is made.
If your parents have to go into a nursing facility and if they have to apply for Medicaid, the house may have to be sold. These days there is usually no house to inherit.
lifeexperiences, sorry about so many questions, but we are just trying to get a grasp of the whole picture.
So, here's my summary. Please correct me where i'm wrong.
!. You've been taking care of your parents for 7 years and had to retire. Plus, you've taken care of the house, inside and out, maintained the property when it needed repairs. Also, your father cannot see or hear well and your mother has dementia and cannot do ONE thing for herself...not even stand up without you having to hold her up!!!
2. You're the executrix,but don't have the will because your brother has taken it for some reason. You get a 1/3rd of the house and I assume that means that your brother gets a 1/3rd.
3. The Medical POA has signatures on it. Who does it name as Medical POA?
4. I gather that you have a copy of the Durable POA without any signatures. If it's not signed and notarized, then it's not legal. Who does it name as the Durable POA?
5. Since you don't say anything about their assets, I assume they are not very well off. Correct me if I'm wrong.
6. I'm curious. Who just did and signed their tax return since neither sounds capable of dong this? Thus, someone would need to be the legal Durable POA to sign this document and have the code that the IRS provides Durable POA's to show they are authorized to sign.
This whole picture looks does not look good at all.
It is likely that your mom's care needs may escalate beyond your dad's care needs given her dementia which would likely place her in need for a memory care unit in a nursing home likely funded by medicaid in which case MERP will take the house following her death as medicaid's way of regaining some of its expenses. If your dad is still living at that point, I think he gets to stay in the house as the surviving spouse until he dies. Or both of them might need to go to a nursing home at the same time which would likely mean each would need medicaid?
The current and future care needs of your parents really calls for you and your brother to work together and not be so focused on inheritance which may or may not be there. His move sounds like a power grab to me but for what purpose only he knows.
Have ya'll always found it difficult to get along? I wish siblings would get along better than this, but this is all to common.
Will your brother respond well to you calling him up to have a meeting to discuss all of this? I hope so. I wish you well in dealing with this mess. Keep in touch.
In my own experience as my mother's durable and medical POA as well as the executor of the estate, I had a time finding her will for the lawyer was semi-reitered and had no idea, but I did find a paper trail that led me to her brother who knew where it was. She had hidden it for years in her mother's safety deposit box which up until before she went into the nursing home was still in a box. She had asked him to mail it to her and I found it in the top drawer of her locked dresser in the envelope my uncle had mailed it in.
Is the copy your brother has the only copy of the will? Is there one on file with the lawyer? I can understand why you would like to see it,but I don't think you have a legal right to see it, unless your parents want to show you. (Do they each have a will?) But it would sure be a good idea to know where it is!
Who has the Medical Power of Attorney? Who has the Financial Power of Attorney? If your father is not satisfied with the current situation he can easily change it by making a new document, rescinding all previous ones. I'm not sure about your mother -- depends on whether she can understand the concept.
I certainly hope you have been paid for your services for the past 7 years. It is a mistake to assume you will be compensated after your parents die. If either or both of them need even more care that can quickly eat up any financial legacies they had planned. And dividing things equally among the kids who helped and those who did nothing often doesn't sit right!
your parents have to show you the will or give you a copy! their attorney will not give you a copy until you're parents have passed...and that's only if you are an inheritor...I believe. if you don't know who the attorney is...then there is none!! make sure you ask your parents to get a new one if they don't know where it is!!! my experiences!
Our parents had a will drawn up many years ago, stating their wishes upon their deaths, Mom died fives years ago, Dad is still living but in the final faze or dementia which he has had for about 3 years, sister has been taking care of Dad for about 4 years due to declining health issues, oldest brother is POA and excutor of will. He is not following parents wishes, said sister has 6 weeks upon Dads death to vacate home, and that he has put the house in his name, which was put in the will to be sold and divided up 4 ways between us siblings, now he is saying we get nothing! Dad has not been in his right mind for years, he is not capable of changing anything or understanding. Please help
On your mother's death, her will should have been executed. What did it say? What did your brother, as your mother's executor, do then?
It is possible that money was borrowed with the house as security, or a reverse mortgage taken out, or some similar financial arrangement, to pay for your father's expenses. Did your brother perhaps even buy the house from your parents?
But to go back a bit. If your parents' instruction was that the house would be sold and the proceeds divided among the four children, then your sister would still need to move out of it, no?
You also need to realise that plans made at one stage of life may not prove feasible later on. Your parents' dearest wish may have been to leave all four of you a nice lump sum; but living costs soar, taxes have to be paid, life costs money... you will probably find that your brother has done nothing wrong, as long as he has used your parents' money for their benefit while acting with POA for them.
The best thing to do is to ask your brother, as nicely as you can, for an explanation of what the plans are for funding your father's ongoing care, and after that for your caregiving sister's future. You can ask him, too, for an explanation of what has taken place with the house; but bear in mind that he is not obliged to tell you. Strictly speaking, it's not your business as long as your father is alive.
It sounds as if there has been a blazing row and perhaps hard words spoken in anger? Stop worrying about the terms of an ancient will, which might well be no better than academic by now, and do your best to get everyone to focus on what happens next.
if your sister has lived in the house over a certain length of time Medicaid may allow her to remain but once she vacates or dies medicaid will seize to recoup their expenses. i doubt your brother can evict your sister and sell the house within six weeks if she has nowhere to go. I think the advice of a lawyer should be sought. your Dad has retained the house for five years since mother's death so Brother has no right to put it in his name unless of course he coerced Dad into signing it over to him. There may or may not be anything you can do about it and depending on the value of the estate it may not even be worth the expense of the fight. So get legal advice.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Who was made the POA? Was that same person made both durable and medical POA? Which document did he give you a copy of?
I'll check with Register of Deeds as you suggested. What about Will? Is that filed anywhere? An attorney told me that I needed to hire an attorney and take my brother to court. Is that right? Thanks!! Irene
Why do you want these documents? Why do you want to take your brother to court just because he has these documents and you don't? What else is going on here?
Did your brother steal the documents?
I don't think that anyone has a legal right to see anyone else's will until the testator is dead. That includes the executors. I asked if your parents had a copy because I had no way of knowing if you were on speaking terms with your parents. Many folks on this board are not. I try hard not to make assumptions.
If your parents have to go into a nursing facility and if they have to apply for Medicaid, the house may have to be sold. These days there is usually no house to inherit.
Sorry you and your brother are not getting along.
So, here's my summary. Please correct me where i'm wrong.
!. You've been taking care of your parents for 7 years and had to retire. Plus, you've taken care of the house, inside and out, maintained the property when it needed repairs. Also, your father cannot see or hear well and your mother has dementia and cannot do ONE thing for herself...not even stand up without you having to hold her up!!!
2. You're the executrix,but don't have the will because your brother has taken it for some reason. You get a 1/3rd of the house and I assume that means that your brother gets a 1/3rd.
3. The Medical POA has signatures on it. Who does it name as Medical POA?
4. I gather that you have a copy of the Durable POA without any signatures. If it's not signed and notarized, then it's not legal. Who does it name as the Durable POA?
5. Since you don't say anything about their assets, I assume they are not very well off. Correct me if I'm wrong.
6. I'm curious. Who just did and signed their tax return since neither sounds capable of dong this? Thus, someone would need to be the legal Durable POA to sign this document and have the code that the IRS provides Durable POA's to show they are authorized to sign.
This whole picture looks does not look good at all.
It is likely that your mom's care needs may escalate beyond your dad's care needs given her dementia which would likely place her in need for a memory care unit in a nursing home likely funded by medicaid in which case MERP will take the house following her death as medicaid's way of regaining some of its expenses. If your dad is still living at that point, I think he gets to stay in the house as the surviving spouse until he dies. Or both of them might need to go to a nursing home at the same time which would likely mean each would need medicaid?
The current and future care needs of your parents really calls for you and your brother to work together and not be so focused on inheritance which may or may not be there. His move sounds like a power grab to me but for what purpose only he knows.
Have ya'll always found it difficult to get along? I wish siblings would get along better than this, but this is all to common.
Will your brother respond well to you calling him up to have a meeting to discuss all of this? I hope so. I wish you well in dealing with this mess. Keep in touch.
In my own experience as my mother's durable and medical POA as well as the executor of the estate, I had a time finding her will for the lawyer was semi-reitered and had no idea, but I did find a paper trail that led me to her brother who knew where it was. She had hidden it for years in her mother's safety deposit box which up until before she went into the nursing home was still in a box. She had asked him to mail it to her and I found it in the top drawer of her locked dresser in the envelope my uncle had mailed it in.
Who has the Medical Power of Attorney? Who has the Financial Power of Attorney? If your father is not satisfied with the current situation he can easily change it by making a new document, rescinding all previous ones. I'm not sure about your mother -- depends on whether she can understand the concept.
I certainly hope you have been paid for your services for the past 7 years. It is a mistake to assume you will be compensated after your parents die. If either or both of them need even more care that can quickly eat up any financial legacies they had planned. And dividing things equally among the kids who helped and those who did nothing often doesn't sit right!
You will need to ask your parents to see their will which they may or may not do. They are not public documents which one can find online.
On your mother's death, her will should have been executed. What did it say? What did your brother, as your mother's executor, do then?
It is possible that money was borrowed with the house as security, or a reverse mortgage taken out, or some similar financial arrangement, to pay for your father's expenses. Did your brother perhaps even buy the house from your parents?
But to go back a bit. If your parents' instruction was that the house would be sold and the proceeds divided among the four children, then your sister would still need to move out of it, no?
You also need to realise that plans made at one stage of life may not prove feasible later on. Your parents' dearest wish may have been to leave all four of you a nice lump sum; but living costs soar, taxes have to be paid, life costs money... you will probably find that your brother has done nothing wrong, as long as he has used your parents' money for their benefit while acting with POA for them.
The best thing to do is to ask your brother, as nicely as you can, for an explanation of what the plans are for funding your father's ongoing care, and after that for your caregiving sister's future. You can ask him, too, for an explanation of what has taken place with the house; but bear in mind that he is not obliged to tell you. Strictly speaking, it's not your business as long as your father is alive.
It sounds as if there has been a blazing row and perhaps hard words spoken in anger? Stop worrying about the terms of an ancient will, which might well be no better than academic by now, and do your best to get everyone to focus on what happens next.