Follow
Share
Read More
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
I'm not going to get on you about getting a little cross with your husband after having to answer the same question four different times.
You're not wrong or "not being nice". What you are being is human and none of us are perfect. Expect in the future that you're going to get a bit cross or short-tempered when being asked the same question over and over and are repeating the same answer over and over.
There isn't a caregiver on earth who can honestly say that the dementia repeating loop never got to them. Or they never lost a moment of patience. We all do. Every last one of us. Don't guilt yourself or beat yourself up about it. You're not the only one this has happened to.
Sometimes you have to ignore with kindness and just stop answering or discussing something that's been answered or discussed hundreds of times already. This is for your own mental well being. Also, remove yourself from the caregiving situation when it's possible to. Take some time on your own away from your husband to take a break. Go to lunch with friends. Take a class. It doesn't matter just something you like doing.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

You are in a new situation now and getting on this forum was very smart of you. You are at the beginning of the learning curve - you will make mistakes and you will learn from them. Please do not remind him he asked the same question before - it humiliates him, and he doesn't remember or know he is doing it - he cannot control it. But you can help him with it. Learn how to "redirect" him to break the loop. His mind needs to be more engaged to minimize going to the repeat questions. I have learned a great deal from:

Rachael Wonderlin
https://rachaelwonderlin.com/
https://rachaelwonderlin.com/dementiabyday/

and

Bob DeMarco
https://www.facebook.com/BobDeMarco

on how to understand what is happening and how to work with it. Most of all approach your husband with love, not annoyance. People with dementia know when someone is agitated and then they get more agitated themselves and more problems will arise. If you read Rachael and Bob, You will learn how to create an environment of emotional security for your husband. It will be hard, but you will do it.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

Thank you to the entire community that responded to my spouse's & my situation. Your replies have been very helpful. I've taken away one pearl or several pearls of wisdom from each one. It's a learning process. It's a good feeling to know this community is here. Again, thanks.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter