Last time mom said that Michou (me) send her regards to me. I was so surprised I answered that I was Michou! She laughed and said : you are my first born! (I’m an only child). Later she presented me correctly as her daughter Michou.
Some other time before this when she looked at me she said : I don’t recognize you, you are family, aren’t you?
She doesn’t have good sight. So I thought she didn’t see me correctly. After so many years, my denial is still strong!
At the residence they say to go with the delusion, ok, but how?
Thank you!
After my daughter got married, after not knowing who she was for a year, my mom asked how Jennifer was doing and if her husband fit into our family okay! I haven't even used her name in most of that time because she didn't know who Jennifer was. She came up with that name on her own when we were talking over the telephone.
My daughter has a two-year-old son now, named Sam. When I talk to my mom and mention Sam's name, she smiles and seems to remember exactly who that is! She has only seen him in person oh, but when I go about once a month to visit her oh, I do show her pictures.
The mind is a mysterious thing!
As difficult as it is, just realizing that it is the disease and not your mom not recognizing you can make it less painful.
My granny would tell me that her daughter never came to visit while said daughter was at the same table. I don't think she knew who I was, I think she thought I was my mom when she was young. She did know that I was someone that loved her and that she was happy to be with, that was all that really mattered in the end.
Just laugh or ignore whatever gets you through the pain. She wouldn't do it on purpose to hurt you, hopefully. (My mom might)
Love her and be someone that she is happy to be with in the moment, knowing that she loves you.
Hugs, this is a rotten disease.
Now mom recognizes me again, but when her memory will fail again, I’ll remember all of your sharing, advice and experiences and it will be far less dramatic. Because I won’t feel so lonely :You’ll be there, sort of!
Thank you!
One time when I was visiting mom, a staff member was telling another visitor to just 'be in the moment', like her... I wasn't really in the moment, but I understood what she was telling him! So far the only time mom didn't recognize me was in that recent picture my daughter wanted of the three of us.
The hard part for me is that she is partly living in the past and thinks her parents are alive. I'm not about to tell her they are not - it is pointless because it will hurt her AND she won't remember it, so we'd have to tell her over and over, hurting her each time! We just have to have a large repertoire of excuses, explanations, plausible reasons why we can't call or visit, etc.
Well, hopefully things will go well for you, and as you said, when the going is tough, remember we ARE all behind/next to you!! :-)
She's into asking about her mother (or going there/calling her), so we're now into time over 40 years ago! Still mostly able to care for herself, uses a walker, but memories are clearly out of whack!
(1) When visiting Your Mom always engage at Her level and never stand over Her and talk down on Your Mom. ( If Your Mom is in bed kneel by the bed so You will be at eye level.
(2) Always hold Moms hand and tell Her how much You love Her and that You are so thankful for all Your Mom has done for You.
When You keep doing this Michou Your beautiful Mom will know Who You are instantly. I would never just go along with a delusion as You will bring the greatest Joy back into Your Moms Life.