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If I keep a record of the funds I was unable to collect, can I collect at a future time? Can it be after she passes? Does this need to be specified in the Personal Care Agreement?
I believe you can make a claim against the estate, if there are assets left to liquidate. In my opinion, if there are assets, or even cash during their lifetime, it's ok to charge. It would be different if all siblings contributed, but when one does everything, why should all siblings divide the estate equally?
dkentz72 - room and board do not begin to cover the loss of income, benefits and savings for someone who is a full-time live-in caregiver, not to mention the opportunity costs of giving up one's social life, private time, and other plans and goals. Your sister may well expect an increased share of your mother's estate (assuming there in an inheritance) and I think she would be entirely justified. If you hired someone from the outside to stay with your mother, he/she would certainly require a salary as well as room and board.
I don't think it's reasonable to say that we should not ask our parents to pay us because we did not pay them for raising us. They chose to be parents, knowing they were bringing dependent people into the world. They were legally obligated to support us. Parent care is a totally different thing. The person who steps up to do it is saving the parent bundles of money that would otherwise be expended for paid care. If the parent can afford it, some compensation should be paid, to compensate the caregiver for the loss of outside income when they can't work due to caring for the parent.
FWIW, my mother is not paying me anything. Not even reimbursement for out of pocket costs like gas and tolls. She can't afford it, so I don't ask even though it's sometimes a financial hardship for me. But I think if the parent can afford to compensate the adult child for part of the lost income from paid work, they really should. And if there's an inheritance, the caregiver should receive more than siblings who haven't made significant sacrifices for the parent's care.
I understand why parent/child make agreements like this, I agree with Llamalover 47.
Personally, I would never be expected to be paid for taking care of my Mother. My reasoning is that neither of my parents expected to be paid to take care of me when they raised me. The only way I could pay them growing up was to love/respect them. We, as all parent/child relationships, definitely had our ups/downs; but as I grew older the smarter they became.
I surely do not expect my sibling to claim any type of payment as Mom's so called 24/7 caregiver. Should this sibling attempt to do so, I'll have to "gently" remind said sibling has been living rent free, not paying utilities, food for more than 10 yrs.
If you truly feel entitled to receive payment, I would suggest talking with the family court so as to be legally named as guardian. Should you do this and not knowing the state of your Mother's mental or physical abilities; your Mother will essentially become your child. You will be taking ALL of her rights as an adult from her i.e. being able to vote.
Please think everything over and determine if the money is worth more than your Mother.
Is your mother living on poverty income? My late mother was and thus, I did not take a penny from her because she did not have it. However, she paid for everything that she used-food, electric, water, heat, taxes, et al.
If she has no funds now how will you collect later? If you anticipate on the sale of a house or possessions it will take a long time to get what is owed you. The estate will have to go through probate and all debts will have to be paid as well. (I am guessing you will not be first in line to collect) (The exception to probate would be if everything is in a trust) Start application for Medicaid. Check with Area On Aging there may be programs that will help provide caregivers. I am not sure if you could be one of the paid caregivers or not.
What source of income is there and what are the expenses? If expenses exceed the income she may qualify for many other programs as well. Food, aid with gas and electric bills as well as a possible reduction of property taxes depending on the situation. If she is a Veteran there may be many other benefits that she would qualify for.
I believe your unpaid wages would be a claim against the estate. However, that would also be subject to a statute of limitations, I believe. That would vary according to the laws of your state.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I don't think it's reasonable to say that we should not ask our parents to pay us because we did not pay them for raising us. They chose to be parents, knowing they were bringing dependent people into the world. They were legally obligated to support us. Parent care is a totally different thing. The person who steps up to do it is saving the parent bundles of money that would otherwise be expended for paid care. If the parent can afford it, some compensation should be paid, to compensate the caregiver for the loss of outside income when they can't work due to caring for the parent.
FWIW, my mother is not paying me anything. Not even reimbursement for out of pocket costs like gas and tolls. She can't afford it, so I don't ask even though it's sometimes a financial hardship for me. But I think if the parent can afford to compensate the adult child for part of the lost income from paid work, they really should. And if there's an inheritance, the caregiver should receive more than siblings who haven't made significant sacrifices for the parent's care.
Personally, I would never be expected to be paid for taking care of my Mother. My reasoning is that neither of my parents expected to be paid to take care of me when they raised me. The only way I could pay them growing up was to love/respect them. We, as all parent/child relationships, definitely had our ups/downs; but as I grew older the smarter they became.
I surely do not expect my sibling to claim any type of payment as Mom's so called 24/7 caregiver. Should this sibling attempt to do so, I'll have to "gently" remind said sibling has been living rent free, not paying utilities, food for more than 10 yrs.
If you truly feel entitled to receive payment, I would suggest talking with the family court so as to be legally named as guardian. Should you do this and not knowing the state of your Mother's mental or physical abilities; your Mother will essentially become your child. You will be taking ALL of her rights as an adult from her i.e. being able to vote.
Please think everything over and determine if the money is worth more than your Mother.
Good luck either way.
If you anticipate on the sale of a house or possessions it will take a long time to get what is owed you. The estate will have to go through probate and all debts will have to be paid as well. (I am guessing you will not be first in line to collect)
(The exception to probate would be if everything is in a trust)
Start application for Medicaid.
Check with Area On Aging there may be programs that will help provide caregivers. I am not sure if you could be one of the paid caregivers or not.
What source of income is there and what are the expenses? If expenses exceed the income she may qualify for many other programs as well. Food, aid with gas and electric bills as well as a possible reduction of property taxes depending on the situation.
If she is a Veteran there may be many other benefits that she would qualify for.
I don't believe that you will be able to collect after she dies.
Maybe she should be on medicaid if she is that poor.