Had it with narcissist elderly mom. Any suggestions?

My dad died last year of ALZ. He was such a model patient, never complained, even the nurses at the facilities remarked how they had never seen such an easy going ALZ patient. My mom has been having some cognitive issues but MDs are not sure if it is some kind of dementia or just her lifelong anxiety/OCD where she cannot focus on anything or make decisions. She is complaining, griping, criticizing, even though I do all I can for her and my brothers do not (one lives out of state and cannot help, the other occupied with his own crazy wife).

She broke her pelvis six weeks ago and was in hospital then rehab. After a couple of weeks in rehab, they wanted to send her to AL but like an idiot I objected, saying I would take care of my mom at her home for a couple weeks until out of state brother visited, to buy us time to make a good decisions. Stupid me. I was a slave to her, and would not complain if it was just the work. She is so hyper, OCD, griping, etc. When my out of town brother was in town, we found a couple of good living situations, including one where you are in the same apt. for assisted or indy living, so you could start out in AL until pelvis is healed, go back to Indy, then eventually to AL and never move apts. She balks at that. She wanted to go to another place and now that place has an opening and she is balking at that.

Physically, she was doing very well on pelvis recovery but can never sit still and start deep pain again. I brought her to ER and the ER doc said bedrest for a few days. She said she was planning to visit cemeteries of loved ones over this weekend, the Doc said she has delay that for a few days. She argued with the doc, and I said I will not bring her to these places if the doc says no. She says I am saying that only because I do not want the work of driving her there, this even though I have been her slave for three weeks. I said there is no point in going to Dr. if you don't listen to what doc says. She wanted soup so I went to hospital cafeteria, and they had wild rice. I came back to say they had her favorite, chicken wild rice, and we went to cafeteria and she said it is wild rice, not chicken wild rice, why am I lying all the time? I cannot deal with her anymore, I work my rear off and she just gripes. I brought her home and stayed with her though baseball game which she likes then went home. She wanted me to stay, and I did feel a bit guilty for not staying and leaving her alone but she just drains me so I came home. I set everything up for her in terms of meds, phone, water. She always wanted to move out when my dad was alive and in her defense, my dad never wanted to, then he died leaving her alone in house which she did not want to be, but now we find places for her and she balks on the situation. in one you have to go to a studio while you wait for a 1BR apt. to open up. So what? When my out of town brother was in town we tried to clean up the junk out of basement (she is a hoarder) and she would not let us throw it out until she went over each piece, newspapers from the seventies, car wash coupons from the eighties, you get the idea. So she not only didn't let us throw them out, she sat on floor to go through them ten minutes for each item, thus aggravating her pelvis again. We said a 1 BR would open up before her house is nearly ready to sell so she can keep her stuff in house while she lives in studio and waits for apartment to open up. I just want to throw my hands up in air and move, but feel too guilty. Friends have advised just leaving her at home alone, never helping to force her to move to a place. I don't know. Anyway, rambling I know. Cant take this any more.